


With All My Art

by skqscitygirl



Category: Tegan and Sara (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 03:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6313372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skqscitygirl/pseuds/skqscitygirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An artist and long time Tegan & Sara fans life begins to change when she finally meets her idols after years of following them around on tour.<br/>This will be a LONG fic, so please give it a try and see what you think!<br/>Romance/Feels/Smut/Drama/Angst</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking out my Tegan and Sara fic. Previously I had this story posted on T&S specific fanfic sites but I have been told I should post it on here, so I am going to trial it.  
> I will post the first 2 chapters and see what response I get, and depending on how well the response is, I might post all the chapters I have written so far on here (I already have it posted on a couple of other sites) .  
> When I first started this fic I had never written anything like this before so as the story has grown, so has my writing. Trust me, it gets much better after the first few chapters ;-)
> 
> So yeah, if you would like to read more of this, please let me know via comments/votes or however you can.  
> My twitter is @withallmyartfic so you can hit me up there too.  
> I have been writing this fic since July 2014 so I am completely dedicated to it and post updates at least once a week.

It was almost time.  
The time I waited for.  
The time I lived for.

For years I have followed their career, city-to-city, state-to-state, country to country and watched as my idols have taken on bigger and better stages, venues and opportunities. And even though I am in no way a part of their lives, I've never felt so proud of them or more a part of anything in my life. My love for them was like no other. And that was something I struggled with every day. _If only they knew..._

When I wasn't following a tour, I was creating art, writing lyrics (if only I had even a small musical note in my body to write my own songs) & dreaming of the next time I would get to be on that road again. It was something to pass the time, and I secretly hoped that one day I would be recognized for my art; Just like my idols are for theirs.

I put my heart and soul into each and every piece, no matter how big or small, and I always get an amazing response online if I share any of my art. But as amazing as this is, I only really crave that kind of attention from the two people I will never get it from: Tegan and Sara.

I know there is no chance. Dreams, in my eyes, are not there with the intention of being achieved; they are they to edge you on, give you hope, but never to be fulfilled. Not in my life. I am not that lucky. They never have been and I'm sure they never will be. Not for a person like me. What would make me so special? But if you don't even try, you will never know.

This was what I want to do, this is what I love to do and dammit, this was what I am going to do.  
"I can't believe we are here!" I squealed. Looking at my girlfriend with excitement rushing through my veins.  
"I know right?! It happened again, we must be crazy!" she replied. _Crazy in love, yeah..._

I can't begin to explain how much I love travelling around with my friends on these tours, we always have an amazing time, the four of us together, we are an unstoppable touring machine going from show to show, hotel to hotel, travelling however we can to get to the next place on time to enjoy another show. I love this life.

I was so excited that we had a few meet and greet tickets for this tour, because I could hand over some of my art in person and hopefully get to know Tegan and Sara on more of a personal level. Despite the amount of shows we have been to over the years, I have never had the chance to meet them before. And as confident as I am about my art and everything I create, I still feel nervous, I still feel it isn't good enough, that they won't like it, that they won't like me.... _Please like me..._

"So, what are you going to say about your art if they look at it with you?" my girlfriend said suddenly snapping me out of my daze. "I'm going to tell them you did it, so I don't fangirl too hard or embarrass myself by going bright red," I joked back, winking at her.  
"Fine, but if they love it and offer me a job, imma take it!" she countered. _Touché, baby, touché..._

Waiting in the queue was more nerve-wracking than I thought, but talking to fellow travelling fans we had made over the years, was a blessing. I had missed them all, all the stories, all the banter, all the teasing, all the inside jokes. It was like our own family, where we all felt comfortable around each other, looked out for one another and shared memories that would last the rest of our lives. Wherever our lives end up going, we will all have these times and these memories to look back on and be happy that we did this, we were apart of something so special. Before we knew it, it was time to head into the venue. This. Was. It. Don't forget to breathe...

 

**TEGAN POV:**

Here we go. Back on tour and back on the road.  
Our first meet and greet of the tour and I always get a little bit nervous, I don't know why, as our fans are always so awesome to us.But that's why I'm so glad I have Sara by my side, she always takes the lead if I start to feel nervous.

I can see the fans all lined up. Some I can see have gifts for us, some are standing there all smiles, some fidgeting and speaking quietly to each other, and there's always one giving flirty looks!

I scan down the line waving and smiling at everyone as we walk into our positions in front of the backdrop, and I can see a familiar group of fans. I recognize them from previous shows and tours, always singing their hearts out and dancing in the crowd, with so much enthusiasm that it warms my heart. I always look for them in the crowd. It's nice to know they are here again, that they still love us despite our change of direction with Heartthrob. If it weren't for the fans, there would be no Tegan and Sara. I can't recall having met them before, so its nice we can finally thank them for their continued support, its something I always think about. Another great thing about doing what we do is that we get to stand in front of all these beautiful women on a daily basis. And that's never a bad thing.

"Hey guys! How are you?" I say with a huge grin on my face, holding out my hand. I still find it humbling that people can get so nervous around us like we are some huge rock stars, when really we are just like them. Before we were in our own band, we queued for hours for shows, sang our hearts out like it was the last show we'd ever see, spent what little money we had on tapes, CDs and magazines, always hoping to turn the page and see an advert showing that your favorite band are playing in town, or a town nearby. I understand what our fans are feeling because that was us. That was Sara and I. We may not have the time to do that ourselves now, but if we weren't in a band, that's what we would be doing.

"It's great to see you guys again, and to finally meet you!" Sara spoke with sincerity. She's such a sweetie to our fans; it makes me so proud to be her sister. They a had a few questions for us about our setlist, so we answered those the best we could, trying not to give too much away, before we all took some photos together. As we started to say our goodbyes, one of the hotties walked back over to Sara and I and held out a hard-backed envelope.

"I know you get a lot of art from fans, but I thought I'd bring you some that I have done over the years, and erm, yeah I just hope you like them", she said in the cutest voice I had ever heard.

"Oh that's awesome, thank you so much, I look forward to looking at it backstage," Sara spoke softly. "Yeah, thank you, I can't wait to see it!" I said as I looked into her eyes. She was so nervous it was adorable. I found myself really intrigued about her and the envelope she gave to us. 

There was just something about her...

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Different POVs throughout this chapter.  
> "********" represents the Fans POV.

As we walked out of the venue and away from Tegan and Sara, I couldn't tame the biggest grin that had ever graced my face. I felt on top of the world. They had my artwork. They had it in their hands! After years of wondering if they ever saw anything I posted online, I now knew for sure they would see my art, my gift to them, my thanks, my gratitude that because of them, I have something in my life that fuels the fire in my belly, keeps the blood flowing through my veins and my heart beating. At this point I don't even care if they like it enough to keep it. They are going to open the envelope and see it!

"Omg, how amazing was that?!" my girlfriend screamed.  
"Yeah they totally recognized us all, who knew that they would, I mean we go to a lot of shows but they must see so many fans and faces every night, but they remembered us, like omg, I need to breathe..."  
"Did you see Sara's smile when I told her that I have read all the books she has ever recommended? She was..."

I zoned out, their conversation faded to a low murmur as I stood there in a complete daze while my friends carried on discussing what just happened. In that moment, I realized something. I realized how different I had become, from my friends. Yes we all loved Tegan and Sara, we all fangirled over them, we essentially followed them around the world to watch them perform, but I don't know, I just feel.... different. _What is this feeling?_

Like something inside of me has changed. My heart was beating insanely fast, and I felt a sort of 'excited-nervous' feeling. My mind flashed back to Tegan's smile when I handed over the envelope, to Sara's' subtle lisp peeking out under her tongue when she spoke to thank me. They sound so genuinely touched and appreciative that I just hope they feel exactly that, when they look at it. I'm not delusional, I know that nothing would become of it; they get gifts on the daily from fans all over the world. Fans that is way more talented and clever and unique with their ideas. But there is still that small part inside of me that says 'you never know'. _What if..._

And it's not like I put myself out there expecting something back and being disappointed when nothing becomes of it. I do it because I enjoy it. I do it because I love it. I guess deep down I am just searching for that approval from somebody, _anybody_ , the approval that I have longed for my whole life. Before I get too deep into thoughts of the past, I am bought back into the conversation, "So how did it feel to finally hand over your work?! And you only went slightly red in the face too..." and they all laughed hysterically, mocking me and pinching my cheeks. _Oh God, I didn't, did I?_

  
**SARA POV:**

I know that look. I know that look oh so well. I have seen it many times before. That's the 'oh you have my attention' look that almost always ends in Tegan head over heels falling in love.  
"She has a girlfriend you know," I say quietly to her as we are walking to the backstage area.  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about," she countered.  
"You mean _who_ I am talking about, and you know damn well, Tee. I saw you follow her as she walked out the room."  
I look at her and she just laughs with that cocky look she is famous for onstage, "well what kind of lesbian would I be if I didn't appreciate the very attractive fans that come to see us every now and then?"

I roll my eyes and laugh, "they were very good looking, I'll admit, and they were super sweet. They really enjoy coming to see us; it was nice to finally meet them after seeing them in the crowd over the years. But just know I saw that look in your eyes, Tee". She rolled her eyes at me. She forgets that I know her better than she knows herself. As we reached our backstage 'home' for the evening, we began our routine to prepare for the show, deciding to get dressed first so we could then relax and being to look at all the letters and gifts we received earlier today. **  
**  
  
**TEGAN POV:**

I don't even know what Sara was talking about. I don't have a look... _Do I?_  
She is quick to judge me when I look at women, but she is the worst of us both. And she's the one with a girlfriend! _Uhh, I do miss having a girlfriend..._  
  
Waiting backstage is kind of like what I imagine limbo would be. It's pointless waiting. Hanging around, waiting for the time to come so you can hit that stage and do your thing. This is one of the reasons we decided to change the VIP meet and greet times, it means we can spend a little more time with our fans, and less time, waiting for the show to start. One thing I do enjoy about this time however, is sitting and reading the fan mail we received earlier that day. I read a couple of letters addressed to both of us, smiling at the kind words, handing them over to Sara when I'm done, seeing her smile as she reads them with full attention.  
  
I look over to the table and the hard-backed envelope catches my eye again from the bottom of the pile. I take it in my hands and carefully open it. I take out the contents to find a homemade book with pages of drawings and artwork from The Con, Sainthood and Heartthrob eras, all bound together by brown string. Its so pristine, so carefully put together, you can tell it has been made with nothing but love. Every day I am humbled by every single piece of fan mail, fan art and gifts that flood our way. I wish I could thank each and every person that takes the time to do this for us, but its impossible. So we put everything we can into our tours and every performance on stage, to make them special for our fans.

I started to slowly open the book and study each piece, it was different from everything else I had seen before, I was lost in thought and admiration for a particular piece when I heard a soft "wow...." that bought me back into the room. "These are amazing!" Sara spoke in a soft tone. She sat down next to me and we looked through the book from cover to cover. There were only about 10 pages overall, some pages containing a few different pieces, each one in itself completely unique, yet the style was consistent. Her vision was clear to see in each one. "It blows my mind how talented our fans are, and also that they would spend their own time creating such amazing heart-felt things for us." Sara nodded in agreement, "We are so lucky to have fans like these, so, let's go out there and show them how much they mean to us and put on one hell of a show for them". So that's what we did. I walked over to the door, ready to hit the stage. _This one is for you..._  

 

********  
  
As the intro music blasted out of the speakers, the crowd around us went wild. There was no feeling quite like this. The 1st show of many to come, after a long time away from this, it felt like home again. We cheered from the top of our lungs, clapping until our hands started to sting until we saw two small shadows grace the room with their presence. SHOW TIME.

We all put our arms around each other as Sara's lips brushed the mic in front of her, "Goodbye...I don't wanna..."

As we all dance and sang along to every word, I kept switching my gaze over to Tegan, then Sara, back and forth watching them as they sang every lyric with the passion I felt inside. I don't know whether it was because it had been a long time since the last show, or that they were just on fucking fire tonight, but I could not stop smiling, I felt like I was standing on top of the world and it was a reminder that I want to do this for the rest of my life. It got to the point in the set where they introduced the band and spoke to the crowd, which I always looked forward to, especially as it gave me a chance to rest my voice, it now being on the brink of broken! I will struggle to speak after the show for sure!

Sara took to the mic, "Before we carry on with the rest of our set, we just wanted to take moment to thank each and every one of you for being here tonight, whether you have only just started listening to us, or if you have been with us since we had those god-awful haircuts and released our very 1st record back in the late 90s', we appreciate you all so much, because if it wasn't for you guys, we wouldn't be able to do what we love, as a career. You are the people that push us to keep going, you give us so much from all your letters, your stories, gifts and art..." As I hear the word 'art' came out of Sara's mouth, I had this strange rush wash over me, and as I turned to look at Tegan, I saw her looking over in my direction, and...right...at...me? I caught her eye and she looked down at her guitar, playing with the strings before looking over to Sara. She wasn't looking at _me_ was she?

Don't be silly; she was just looking out into the crowd in my direction.  
"...And most of all your support for our art, so thank you and this next song is for all of you".

Tegan took to the mic, "All I wanna get iiiiis..."  
The room erupted as Tegan looked into the crowd with her cheeky flirtatious smile and motioned for the crowd to come closer to the stage. She is perfect. How can one person be so...perfect? I can't wait to meet them again so I can tell them just how amazing this show has been tonight.

For a split second Sara saw us in the crowd and smiled to us. These little moments are so precious, and so rare that I have to pinch myself to remind me if I am still alive. I look back over to Tegan, wondering if I will be so lucky as to catch her eye again, as my mind wonders if she will, she looks in our direction once again so I give her a small, subtle wink. To my astonishment she smiles back before looking to the floor a little flustered, but still smiling.

Well fuck... what was _that_ about?


End file.
